Having a conversation with a colleague about their wellbeing

• If you are starting the conversation, a good way to begin is with a simple question such as ‘how are you?’ or ‘you seem a bit anxious at the moment, are you OK?’. Not everyone who is experiencing stress will wish to discuss it, but asking can make it easier for people to disclose what is happening.
• Encourage the person to talk by asking short, simply-worded questions about what they are experiencing.
• Be prepared for the possibility of silences in the conversation and try to avoid ‘filling’ these. Phrases such as ‘take your time’ or ‘this must be difficult to talk about’ can help the person to continue.
• It is important to avoid making assumptions about what the person is experiencing or how it is affecting them, even if you have been in similar circumstances. Let the person explain what is happening.
• If you think it is appropriate, encourage the person to seek specialist advice and support, for example via a GP, NHS 111, a workplace EAP or occupational health service, or other mental health support organisations such as Vetlife.

If you are the line manager of the person experiencing difficulties, some additional points of advice are:

• Discuss with the person any practical support they might need, such as changes to their working arrangements or time away from work.
• Follow up your conversation with the person in writing, for example by email, including details of actions discussed and suggestions for specialist support.

If someone tells you that they are experiencing thoughts of suicide, or if you suspect they might harm themself, you might feel very unsure about how to respond. A common worry is the possibility of saying something that increases the risk of the person harming themself.

Suicide prevention organisations advise that it is safer to talk about suicidal thoughts than not to talk about them. Clear, step-by-step guidance on how to have a conversation with someone experiencing suicidal thoughts is provided on the Grassroots Suicide Prevention website. 

If you have a conversation with someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts, do consider seeking support for yourself afterwards. The suicide prevention charity, PAPYRUS also have a debrief service which anyone can access after an encounter with suicide.

• If you are a line manager or leader, consider undertaking our two free courses ‘Managing mental health in the workplace, and ‘Suicide awareness fundamentals’ on the The RCVS Academy.